D'oh!

More proofing today at the office which means an excuse for good background noise...what better than a scary movie marathon on AMC during the midday hours?

The lineup: Child's Play, Friday the 13th and The Exorcist. All movies Brandon has never seen because he pees his pants very easily. It's great with the daytime TV though because it's-
"hey, let's make out...feel my boobs"...cut..."wow, that was really hot"...cut..."ahhhhhh"...cut...flash knife...cut...body on the ground. No blood, no guts, no dangling intestines.

I learned 3 very important things today though:
1) Don't buy your kid a toy off a homeless guy in the alley behind the mall.
2) Never underestimate your child's ability, at the age of 7, to know the Subway system, how to hail a cab or how to navigate the city and the projects.
3) Never have sex at summer camp because you're going to get killed during or shortly after postcoital snuggling.

also important to note that getting hit in the face with a machete will kill you and probably really hurts if it doesn't cut all the way through. But if you get hit with a machete in the face on AMC you won't bleed, and that is neat.

3 hour tour

PR by the Sea was in full effect today as the Rays hit to the water for the yearly boat trip. A good time was had by all...no office, sun shined, Nino was not picked up by immigration, good lunch at the Seahorse in Tierra Verde and cold beer.
...Coors Light numero Uno popped at 10 am...it's so good when it hits your lips.
...Cos was gracious enough to provide entertainment by wearing his tank top.
...The group madeit back to shore safely with no instances, other than running aground once.

OH YEAH, BROTHER...

Slow day at work today, massive reading/proofing so we turned to VH1 for entertainment...
Noon-2: Fast Times at Ridgemont High...If there were a contest on who would look exactly like Rat, I'm pretty sure I'd win.

2-3: Hogan Knows Best...I am a fan of the Hulkster, always have been.
Today he bestowed the greatest bit of advice I've ever heard.

Subject-How to pick up chicks...Hulk's solution - "Hey there, want to come up to my room, get naked and wear my title belt."

If only I knew that that was the secret to scoring, I could have raked up at the trailer park next to my house.

Definition of fun...

...is spending two nights in the Bambi motel with some of your favorite people and not getting shivved.

Nino got the pics back from our bachelor weekend in Gainesville when the Gators whooped up on LSU. Our good friend Urban Meyer hooked us up with some sweet seats for homecoming. I took the boys to Salty Dog, The Bank (actually we just saw the outside since we weren't cool enough to get in), Durty Nelly's and Sidebar...Would have gone to Cluck U but it is now Sloppy Gators which evokes images of Freshman sluts keeled over tables. The weekend consisted of drinking, tailgating on University (FYI - it costs $12K to buy a parking spot on the drag to tailgate now...what happened to the good old days?), drinking, visiting gameday, drinking, not dying at the Bambi, late nighte pit stop at the Waffle House, RV's immaculate burgers and drinking. A good time was had by all...

good news...the band still sucks, Mr. Two-Bits is still rocking and the Orange & Blue guy is still who I want to be when I grow up.

Here's what we learned from wedded bliss and beyond

-The Wife was hott
-My ring is so heavy my wrist hurts
-Clay did not want to give a speech
-The Wife's boss busted ass on the floor
-Mammoth Muffin can do a mid-air split...and not tear his dong muscle
-Joey Fatone will now be known as "The Tornado"
-I can imbibe about seven (double) 7&7's and still function
-The Gator's did not win...but we had fun listening in the 2'x2' bathroom
-When she says "Let's go just look at puppies", she means, " I think we will find a cute one to bring home"
-There is no better feeling than drinking a margarita beachside and not knowing what day or hour it is
-The new digital camera can capture 23 minutes of video