Chinstrap Dickface…where do I even start? I didn’t think it was possible for this joker to get lamer, but alas, he has proven me wrong. I can’t decide which is lamer: his poor excuse for a beard, his pick-up lines or his man-whore tendencies --- but I think I speak for all ladies when I say if a chin-strap guy in a splatter-paint bathing suit with white knee-high socks and black shoes came wrapping at my chamber door asking if I wanted to cold-kick it at his g-ma’s and g-pa’s house – I think I would have to respectively decline. His grandparent’s house? Show of hands of people who have used their grandparents house as a place to get some nookie...And why have we never seen his house? Maybe he doesn’t even live in Laguna. Maybe he’s a real-OC imposter.
Second thing worthy of note is the luncheon that took place at Casey’s house. I’m all for burying the hatchet – no one wants to get cut by some bitches post-graduation. The reason I bring up the luncheon though is for one reason only: the maid. Casey’s maid was in the full-maid gear. Peter-Pan collar, black button-up dress, etc – this is the first I’ve seen a maid in the traditional gear outside of a strip club or a Halloween costume. I had maids growing up, but they wore shorts and cleaned my tub. No one was outfitted in maid gear and serving up tea sandwiches. I’m all for formality, but a button down shirt and some black slacks should suffice. You’re a maid. We get it.
It was briefly mentioned by Kristin that Talan is getting his G.E.D. Again, I have to stress 'what the fuck' on this one. I realize academics are not exactly on the forefront in Laguna, but a G.E.D.? It’s not like you weren’t given every opportunity here Tal. Your mom’s hot, you drive an Audi – life’s not too tough, so would it kill you to crack a book? Even if you weren’t a straight-A guy and barely graduated, a hot mom like that could probably buy you into whatever college you wanted to go to. Good luck working at the Laguna Starbucks Tal.
And finally, let me address the scenes for next week. We don’t hear about Trey all season and he shows up for a weekend to throw a mudslide benefit/hussy fashion show? He’s too cool for the west coast all year, but hey, let me be a hero for the weekend and show everyone I still have a social conscience. Are they still wearing trucker hats in NYC, Trey? Because I’m pretty sure they went out with Kristin’s faux hair extensions. And The OC has no thoughts other than to take you seriously because your hat is cocked to the side. Were it pointing northward we would not let you back, but since it is cocked, we listen intently. Thank god Jessica's a hussy and makes a fool of JWol next week.
On a totally unrelated sidenote (Brandon here)...mad props to Scotty Pod on the walk-off homer the other night. With any luck you will have continued fame this series and Fox will invariably have to focus on your wife (Lisa Dergan for those unknowing souls) much like they did for Kurt Warner's poor excuse for a Trailer Queen, except this time we will pay attention and not cower in fear and vomit.
7 comments:
HOLY CRAP!!
Brandon said the same thing last night..."Guys don't hug" that's what I said...ask The Fi. I knew I liked you for a reason Steve Sanders.
I can confirm that almost the exact words came out of Brandon's mouth last night re: a Ced and Jason hug. I would also like to add that Ced's little speech about how great it would be to go naked under the grad gown, thus revealing a buldge beneath the gown ("Buldge? Is that you?"), only underscores the man-love Ced has for JWol.
The Fi's comments are superb. Someone get her a blog. I would like to also add how elated I am to see LC's blow up next week. Bitch never flies off the handle and it's lookin like JWol's in for a rude awakening. Awakening as in his face looked like it had been hit with cement when LC confronted him about hittin it with Jessica. I don't remember being that estatic at my graduation. And there was clearly an after party (a la Kristin and Alex hungover in bed) that we did not see. Let's cut the editing, MTV. For the love of underage drinking everywhere.
The Fi has a blog. (www.stopbitchingstarttherev.blogspot.com) though I refrain from Laguna re-caps as that's Brandon's bag. Stop by and say hello. The boys from the Peach Pit often do...to make fun of me.
A, I have said many times that the editors at MTV have missed out on a bunch. The only conclusion one can make is that there will be an ass-load of behind the scene crap when the DVD comes out. Like Jeff...what happened to that guy?
mustang...that's an incredible find! I don't want to know how you "stumpled" across it, but holy cow, what a column. I'm floored. That wa enough inside info to up my pulse a bit.
I don't want to brag but I did get to walk by LD and felt the slight breeze. It was an experience.
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