I dedicated myself to catching up last night. I now know all there is to know about living in Laguna Beach. Two things stood out from last night's Valentine's Day distaster. LC is right, V-Day is ridiculous in theory and absurd.
Point 1 - As my wise Fi pointed out, Steven is pretty, like Rob Lowe pretty. The women don't think he's attractive but are drawn to his aura. Fuck that. He's an ass and he wears a thumb ring (everywhere, in regular clothes and at fancy dinners - you can't have it both ways. In fact, never wear a thumb ring you anus-licker). Did he learn nothing from 'Two Ninas,' don't try and juggle two girls dude, you're gonna get your nuts kicked.
Point 2 - If I were to ask Jessica to map out a 10 year plan she would write down, college, law degree, marriage, house on beach, kids. Her reality will be a bruised right eye from an abusive husband, a cock in her mouth and an ounce of coke in her hand. To all guys, if you need a cute girl to toss around and have has your very own toy, move to Laguna Beach now. Though Jason is an a-hole in essence, he was man enough to talk to her in person and admit his faults. I would like to have seen more of the phone argument since it appeared she embellished most of her end of the story.
I'm pumped to watch Steven's two-girl paradise crumble next week. LC's way better than him. Have you ever seen a kinder face than hers, a more nice-to-know-you kind of girl?
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I came to an important conclusion this morning while walking to work--Kristin is a really good influence for teenage girls. I mean, even though most girls in school think she's a bitch, she's really loyal to her friends. And when Jessica called her crying, she came ALL the way back to her house to comfort her. Plus, most she is an example of how not to get played by boys. Rather she plays them. She uses her confidence, blond hair and boobs to get what she wants, but not in a trashy way. Here's to you Kristin. Where ever you are.
For real. Boobs won't get you everywhere. I also think my idol, Lo, has gained some weight. But at least she scored herself a hot body that clearly doesn't mind her baby talk. That's hot, babycakes.
Craziness begets craziness. Brandon's all for being loyal but I don't know when to believe Kristin. She puts on a front with the boys but she can keep it "real" with her friends? Something has to give. Jessica needs a true shoulder to cry on, not that of a frigid bitch.
PS - I don't think it's her boobs that guys are after, I think it might be her accessible flower.
has anyone ever noticed how white I look compared to Brandon's orange skin?
It's a secret bronzer found only on Rodeo drive. I'll pick some up for you next time I'm out there. You never know when the camera's shooting.
Brandon's first car was a Mustang.
Low blow by the Mustang...Steve, you're the jackie Robinson of hooking up in college. You need sit young Steven down and have a chat about it. Don't reveal your trade secrets but let him revel in your magical tales.
maybe one night Steve and Steven can go out on the town and cruise chicks together. Women would love that combination.
That would be a nebulous of urbanity trapped inside the confines of a weak-hinged 'vette. The girls of So Cal wouldn't be able to stand straight the next day. It would like the Fem-bots in Austin Powers, head's exploding as they strutted through the sidestreets.
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