...nearly three years later

and we now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

In case you were wondering...

The Pit has been closed for a while as we searched for one of America's 80's icons.
With the help of Nino, I found Simon Rex and I wasn't even looking.



a) how bad is this song?
b) how trashed does the Rex-onator look?
c) it appears even though he is in a seedy NY basement with a guy named Mickey Avalon, Tom Green and some weird DJ, he can still bamboozle good looking women "I'm Simon Rex, come hang with me."

While waiting at St. Pete Jeep...

I had to get an oil change today. Other than getting my usual trice-yearly ass-raping from the Jeep folks, I was sent to hell as chippy the morning chipster decided she was going to entertain the entire waiting room at 8 a.m.:

-She runs a lot..."I mean a lot" but she doesn't like to run with her iPod mini so she's thinking about getting a nano.
-She pays $1250 a month in mortgage for her condo which was her apartment but she bought it when they went up for sale and now it feels great because every time she writes the check, she knows that she's not wasting money.
-She wants a new car...a BMW convertible in fact...(I am not quite sure how someone in the situation of the above bullet can afford such a ride).
-(my question is answered) She's a really good saver. she used to be good when she was like 12-15 but then she got her car and her parents really noticed how her spending increased and they had a big talking too and then she straightened out when she went to school.
-Her husband is 15 years older than her.
-Her mom was 29 when she had her which was old.
-She doesn't want kids...she herself is a 15-year-old only child.
-She drives 10 miles to get to the Publix in NW St. Pete because the produce at the downtown Publix by her smells funny.
-She wishes their was a Whole Foods in St. Petersburg.
this is where I walked outside and shot myself.

My feelings on Hallmark holidays...

12 foot dong

It's not often I get to live in internet infamy but kudos to Q for this find:

http://gheorghe77.blogspot.com/2007/02/who-knew-devil-rays-media-guide-could.html

It's not only true, but I had somewhat of a part in it getting through the editing process.

It's kind of the porno version of the scene in Meet the Parents when Owen Wilson lets on that he crafted the choopa out of a single piece of beachwood.

YouTube mania

As you all saw a few weeks ago I posted about Twiggy the Water Skiing Squirrel. In doing so I created a video on YouTube, my first such public video. I was also unaware that viewers could actually comment on said video. Another awesome bonus - I get an email when someone comments. I was surprisingly startled by the amount of people who watched the video and cared so much about a trained skiing squirrel that they would take the time to leave a review/opinion. Such as "Thematrixexpert" who was one of the first to lay eyes on the pulitzer prize winning video and scolded my existence "This is abusive. 1 star and shame on you." Another bonus discovered...people can rate me!

sidebar - this reminds me of the one time Steve and Joey Fatone took a picture in which I looked slightly retarded and posted it on this site. I was pleased that a shirtless Brando with a jacked up smile would fetch an average score of 4.5, thereby getting me into the slightly hot category.

Back to YouTube, as much as the matrix lover's comment got me down, 'urbanfreestyle' picked me up by defending my honor "your an idiot, the squirrel is obviously enjoying it`s self or it wudnt get on it."

urban would also point out later that "it has a life jacket on... " therefore it wouldn't get hurt if he jumped in.

'joshiboi0' disagreed though - "need there fuckin heads kikin in them fucked up bastards ,leave tht fuckin squirrel"

I think he got so mad his English went to shit.

'babyhalps' chimed in with a lovely observation as well "Everybody knows squirrels love NUTS. This is just a good demonstration of how he puts up with one."

the fun is endless.

Down year...

The Pit thought this year's Super Bowl ad-time blew anus. There were no talking lizards, no Spud's Mckenzie, no football playing horses (or streaking goats) and thereby no laughs. Brando's favorite was a tie between gay Snicker's auto mechanics and Blockbuster's use of a mouse as a mouse. Both very witty. We mourn today as Gator greats Rex Grossman, Alex Brown and Todd Johnson wallow in their defeat.

On a totally unrelated topic, after the conclusion of the game and Dungy's Christ-filled acceptance speech, the tv was flipped to Ellen Degeneres on Comedy Central just in time for her to steal my joke. Let the record show that The Pit brought up CD's and their difficulty to open over a week ago and here she had the audacity to get up on stage last night and rip straight from my headlines.

The Pit ponders relocation...

The Wife has enlightened me to explore a more appropriate job across the country...I especially like that it's a manager's position AND full-time!
Upon further investigation, there actually is a PeachPit Press...we are currently exploring legal action...

BEEEEEEAAAAAAAADS.....

Today is the day that all Tampanians (or Tampans, or Tampons, or Tampacs, or Tampers) look forward to. A good excuse to dress like a pirate, drink profusely, yell obsenities and stare at a chick's chest - and not get hit for it. Let the beads flow like wine. Today's plan is hairy. I am letting myself into Q's world for a tour of Jose Gaspar, South Tampa style. As a poor black child from Lutz, I was never allowed into these part during my youth but I have somehow infiltrated their layer. I have set for myself a checklist of items to watch for today:
1) a red radio flyer wagon puuled by someone over 25 with a pony keg in tow
2) fake breasts (should not be hard)
3) real breasts - exposed (might be the biggest challenge of all)
4) beads with light up nipples
5) a drunk Florida fan to high five our championship win
6) a homeless man who awoke to a parade on his lanai
7) people I know or can pretend to know since Q knows everyone and it's fun to try to know more people.
8) the Rays float
9) someone falling down, already has fallen down or is getting carted off with an injury after falling down.
10) someone passed out before 3pm

I share a past anecdotal Gasparilla story.

CD's nuts...

I just got home from Best Buy where I purchased Gym Class Heroes. Great album so far after one spin through...but I digress.

This is my first album purchased in quite some time since I have become an iTunes junkie. It was very disheartening that it took me 30 blocks, two red lights and 3 bad 93.3 FLZ songs to open the damn thing. In all the years that CD's have been around, they have done nothing to ease the removal of the little plastic sticky strip that keeps the case together. Sure they added the "Pull Here" tab, but what's that really doing for anybody. It's so bad that some Shmoe has invented a tool to make it easier to remove the plastic strip - which by the way is stickier than any glue I've ever come across. I'm urging the industry. Work on this. It could be a top 3 reason why I no longer buy the compact disc. If need be, I will stage some sort of action to force your hand.