I relinquish my youth

One weekend and it has come to this. Joey Fatone and I reunited for a one time benefit complete with 36 beers, two tickets to the game, Hot Fudge Pop Tarts, a Dental tailgate and a Thunderbird. The result - I've had my fill. It was a good run. But like all things, it has come to an end. I hereby vow to never go anywhere I cannot sit and enjoy an alcoholic beverage. I hereby vow never to go anywhere that I have to show ID before I even enter the premises. I hereby vow never to go anywhere that I have to touch and be touched by everyone in attendance on a hot, muggy Florida night. I am not 18, I don't need a fake ID. I am able to purchase an alcoholic beverage and enjoy it on my couch watching my tv in air conditioning around people I like . I hereby embrace domesticity.
Awards from the past weekend---
BEST WAY TO KILL THE 3RD QUARTER: Joey Fatone pretending that asshole girl in front of us was his girlfirend...inlcuding taking a picture leaning up against her, totally unbeknownst to her.
BEST USE OF THE BACK WINDOW OF AN '85 BLAZER: "You like 'em tough, I like 'em rough!"
BEST BILLBOARD ALONG I-75: DOT trying to urge slow drivers to the right hand lane and having little comic book bubbles out of passing cars that read "$%#@"
WORST DECISION: Roast Beef with Ranch and Feta from Pita Pit after 40 beers.
BEST THEFT OF THE TRIP: Stealing a cupcake from a tailgate party for a girl's birthday who I don't know for Arvind.

sidenotes - the freshman class is remarkably sluttier, yet somehow highly unattractive...the traffic still blows...ITP got a facelift and looks only psuedo-ghetto.