I definitely smell a pork product of some kind...

I love COPS. It could be the fact that I was raised by a house full of cops or it could be a freudian mental mind-fuck that I like to view those less fortunate than me. Either way, there is and never will be a better half-hour of tv than COPS. The premise of every show consists of three things:

1) stolen car. officer finds drugs/paraphenalia/gun in plain view.
2) domestic violence (usually involving a trailer and Jack Daniels).
3) prostitution.

Every once in a while they intersect and you get a drunkard who has crashed a stolen car into his trailer then beat the shit out of his toothless girlfriend (who says they were just playing with the dog) but forgot to hide the pound of coke that she was snorting after she just got done hooking.

I think that from my experience watching the show along with my cat-like speed and reflexes I would make a great street cop (though my fear of guns would render me alone with taser). Like tonight, the police car drove down the street and passed a man on a bike with a mullet and a scrappy Jansen backpack wearing a shirt that read "Shut Your Butt." I said to no one in particular, "I would stop him just because." Sure enough at that moment the call comes in for a suspected burgler fitting said man's description. It's a sixth sense people. I think I would also be good at vehicle chases. My dad once taught me how to J-hook a car just in case, you know, I ever need to use it. I'm like Batman or the Green Lantern. Call me when you need assistance po-po.

Favorite scene all-time: Prostitute stopped in the middle of sucky-suck steps out of the vehicle with a dress (no panties or bra mind you, just a purple sun dress) and a boom box. That's all her belongings consist of, ergo she uses it as a purse. "Where's your ID ma'am?" She opens up the tape deck. You can't beat that people.